The Curse of Competence
You are gifted. You've been applauded your whole life for what you are able to accomplish. Maybe it is athletics. Maybe it is the arts. Perhaps, like Joseph of the Old Testament, you are good at everything you do.
Many people have heard stories of Jim Thorpe winning the Olympics in 1912 for both the pentathalon and decathalon. But they may not know Jim also played professional football for 13 years, major league baseball for seven years, and professional basketball for two years. That's talent!
Deion Sanders played professional football and professional baseball--at the same time. And now Coach Prime is turning out to be pretty good at leading a team as well. Beyonce doesn't just sing--she's a successful entrepreneur, dancer and actor as well. And Justin Timberlake? Don't get me started.
Closer to my world (and perhaps yours), I meet some super competent leaders in the church all the time. They have fantastic communication abilities, they have effectively led teams, they are great at listening and shepherding a congregation, and they can design systems and solve problems.
Perhaps this describes you. There are so many things that you enjoy and you are also really good at. This seems like a good thing, right? Who wouldn't want to excel at a bunch of things?
Here is where the curse comes in...
1. You Get Spread Too Thin: When you're proficient in numerous areas, your time, energy, and attention can often become stretched. Though you're capable of many things, you can't do it all.
2. The Expectation of Others is Too Much: As a multi-competent individual, people often hold you to a higher standard. They expect you to excel at everything, every time, because you usually do. This can bring unreasonable pressure and can lead to exhaustion and burnout.
3. You Don't Love Everything Equally: Many people know what it's like to be really good at something that doesn't bring you enjoyment. You can do it, and crush it. However, it doesn't bring you joy and you dread the thought of spending time on it. The problem--the organization may need that thing from you, because you do it better than anyone else.
4. You Get Priority Paralysis: The more things you're good at, the harder it can be to prioritize. Decisions about what to focus on at a particular moment can cause you stress, as they all seem equally appealing or urgent.
5. You Can't Specialize: Being competent in many areas can actually undermine your chance of becoming truly exceptional in one area. It may prevent you from deeper exploration and honing of a single craft or skill.
6. You Question Your Worth: People who are uber-competent in many areas sometimes question if people like them for who they are, or only for what they do. It can cause your identity to become tightly wrapped with your function, as that is what brings you the greatest attention and praise. But in the quiet moments, you might wonder if you stopped doing the thing -- would people still like you?
Some of this should be unpacked with a therapist, which is beyond my skillset or the purpose of this article. However, I would like to offer a very tangible exercise to help you focus. This is not original with me, I learned it from my good friend Doug Slaybaugh, and I've found it very useful.
Spend some time answering these four questions:
What Must I Do? This is the reason you were born. It's the thing you wake up every day dreaming about. You can't not do these things.
What Should I Do? You should be a good parent, spouse, etc. You should be faithful to your closest friends. This might also include things that the organization needs from you. A director of a non-profit should be involved in fund-raising. It may not be why he or she was born--but it is what is important right now.
What Could I Do? These might be things you are really good at doing, but they don't fit in the previous two categories. These are often things that should be prioritized last when managing your calendar and energy. Years ago, as a side hobby, I was an audio engineer and ran front-of-house sound. I was good at it and I enjoyed it. But there came a time when it was no longer something I must do or should do.
What Must I Not Do? You know you can do this, but you must not. Based on your goals and life plan, this needs to be something that remains in your past. Last summer when I most recently made this list, I added "work for an employer" to my "must not" list. To achieve my goals, I needed to be self-employed and focus on building my company. That means I don't get distracted by job opportunities to build someone else's thing (even if it is something I love and could crush).
Competence doesn't have to be a curse. I think it takes some self-analysis and careful prioritization to protect yourself. Understanding what you must do, should do, could do, and what you mustn't do based upon your personal objectives can greatly assist--especially as you process it with your spouse, close friend, or mentor. Even for those who aren't multi-talented (I'd put myself in that category), this exercise can be helpful when you are in a season of transition or self-reflection.