LeadingSmart

Practical Stuff for Church Leaders

Crucial Conversations

The second day of the Global Leadership Summit was kicked off by Joseph Grenny -- author of Crucial Conversations. This is a great book I read a few years ago and loved. Some of my notes from today's talk...

  • There are crucial moments in everyones life of disproportionate influence - moments where how someone behaves has an enormous effect on every result you care about. 
  • Crucial conversations are defined by three components: 1) You come into it with knowing you have a differing opinions; 2) There are high stakes in the outcome; and 3) Strong emotions are involved.
  • Any time you find yourself stuck, there is always a crucial conversation not happening.
  • It only takes a few seconds for a conversation to go from casual to crucial.
  • When it matters most, we tend to do our worst.
  • We believe a myth that we often have to choose between telling the truth and keeping a friend.
  • You can measure the health of a team by measuring the number of undiscussables -- the conversations which are not allowed. (So true!)
  • Crucial conversations can become a trust-building accelerant toward intimacy for organizations, teams or families.
  • The vital behavior that enables most any positive organizational outcome is candor at moments of acute emotional and political risk.
  • People never get defensive with you about what you are saying--they get defensive because of why they think you are saying it.
  • If you can create safety, it's possible to talk to almost anyone about almost anything.