I don't like funerals. I'm not sure anyone does (except perhaps a funeral director). But death and funerals have been a part of my life recently--so I've thought a lot about my funeral. I'm pretty sure I won't be around for my funeral, so I thought I'd write down some program notes in advance:
- I see no reason for a cemetery plot, headstone or casket. Let my body be used for organs or research--and skip all the other unnecessary costs. A burial plot is for the purpose of people to mark my life and visit me when I'm gone...I have no interest in that.
- Let's be joyful folks. No one should be allowed to wear black at my funeral. Well, unless you love black. It is my favorite color. In that case, wear black. (But no ninjas).
- I want a rockin' band. And it should be loud. Although if my mother is at my funeral, perhaps not too loud.
- I feel closest to Jesus in worship during band jam sessions--so it would be awesome if the band would play up tempo riffs for an extended time, and even if you hate it, just picture me smiling from heaven. Of course, the irony is I will actually be close to Jesus when you are playing it. But when I hear the band, I promise to move yet a few inches closer.
- No open casket (refer to #1 above). Seriously, remember me alive...not dead.
- At some point, read Romans 8:35-39. It has always been a favorite passage.
- The only thing I leave behind worth anything is the impact of my life in other people--my wife, my kids, my friends and my church. If you want to celebrate my life--celebrate them. In fact, I hereby command every speaker to repeatedly tell my wife and kids how awesome they are.
- If you can get the band MUSE to come play, that'd be awesome. And they are definitely allowed to wear black. I won't be upset if it doesn't work out.
- I would love it if 10 people would send flowers to my wife every month on the anniversary day of my passing--for one full year. That's right, shower her with flowers all year long.
- If I were dying this week, I'd ask Aaron Warner to say something about my school days, Danny Jones to say something about my Life Action days, and anyone on the SMT to talk about my Granger life. (If Adam Tarwacki wants to tell any stories about me--probably none of them are true. Probably.)
There you go. Just so you know, I got an A+ at a recent physical, feel very healthy and have started a regular fitness routine...so I'm done thinking about my funeral.