LeadingSmart

Practical Stuff for Church Leaders

My Faith-filled List

Faith and I lead a small group of engaged (or seriously dating) young couples. It's pretty fun. I enjoy this type of life-on-life leadership. We haven't been following a curriculum. Instead, we've done stuff like taken a quiz on conflict and then discussing the results. Or watching a movie about a struggling married couple and then talking about how to avoid their type of marriage.

Earlier this week, I asked Faith to make a list of the top reasons that our marriage has lasted 16+ years. I also made a list. We didn't show each other our lists until we read them to the group. Then we let them ask us anything they wanted. It was a hoot.

Here's the list that I made, raw and unedited...

Reasons Our Marriage Has Lasted 16+ Years

  1. We always say “thank you” to each other even for the smallest things.
  2. On our wedding day, we promised to never divorce.
  3. When there is conflict, we don’t sweep it under the rug. We tackle it head-on.
  4. We keep our marriage a priority above the kids.
  5. We vacation alone together every year.
  6. We go on regular dates.
  7. We have the same parenting values.
  8. She has never hesitated to meet my sexual needs (even when she is tired) and actually pretends to enjoy it!
  9. We serve Christ together.
  10. Our relationship is not 50/50. Faith gives 100% and I give 100%.
  11. We accept each other completely. (We stopped trying many years ago to change each other.)
  12. We love doing little things to surprise the other (Faith will sweep out the garage for me; I’ll hang a picture or empty the dishwasher for her).
  13. We don’t let the kids work us against each other. They know we agree with each other.
  14. Faith is a hot babe—who wouldn’t stay married to her? Seriously, I still believe she is the most beautiful woman in the world.
  15. We have the same values as it relates to spending, saving, and giving.
  16. Neither of us is consumed with material possessions.
  17. We never cut each other down…not even when joking around.
  18. Faith communicates in a thousand different ways that she honors and respects me.
  19. We collaborate on the big stuff. Faith supports me fully any time I have to make a decision.
  20. Faith laughs at my jokes. Every time. That’s not easy.

Now, we'll see if I can get Faith to let me show you her list.