Faith and I lead a small group of engaged (or seriously dating) young couples. It's pretty fun. I enjoy this type of life-on-life leadership. We haven't been following a curriculum. Instead, we've done stuff like taken a quiz on conflict and then discussing the results. Or watching a movie about a struggling married couple and then talking about how to avoid their type of marriage.
Earlier this week, I asked Faith to make a list of the top reasons that our marriage has lasted 16+ years. I also made a list. We didn't show each other our lists until we read them to the group. Then we let them ask us anything they wanted. It was a hoot.
Here's the list that I made, raw and unedited...
Reasons Our Marriage Has Lasted 16+ Years
- We always say “thank you” to each other even for the smallest things.
- On our wedding day, we promised to never divorce.
- When there is conflict, we don’t sweep it under the rug. We tackle it head-on.
- We keep our marriage a priority above the kids.
- We vacation alone together every year.
- We go on regular dates.
- We have the same parenting values.
- She has never hesitated to meet my sexual needs (even when she is tired) and actually pretends to enjoy it!
- We serve Christ together.
- Our relationship is not 50/50. Faith gives 100% and I give 100%.
- We accept each other completely. (We stopped trying many years ago to change each other.)
- We love doing little things to surprise the other (Faith will sweep out the garage for me; I’ll hang a picture or empty the dishwasher for her).
- We don’t let the kids work us against each other. They know we agree with each other.
- Faith is a hot babe—who wouldn’t stay married to her? Seriously, I still believe she is the most beautiful woman in the world.
- We have the same values as it relates to spending, saving, and giving.
- Neither of us is consumed with material possessions.
- We never cut each other down…not even when joking around.
- Faith communicates in a thousand different ways that she honors and respects me.
- We collaborate on the big stuff. Faith supports me fully any time I have to make a decision.
- Faith laughs at my jokes. Every time. That’s not easy.
Now, we'll see if I can get Faith to let me show you her list.